Tribute to the Freaky Barber lala.

If I stowed myself away on a ship,
that was set to sail forever,
I'd lock, so tight, the casket's lid,
wait for my breath to falter
feel the rocking ship on water
sing my songs, not bother
about anything.

There was a day when we held hands,
or when they smiled; the scene so grand
I used to laugh so much it's true
with all my friends and all those fools
or when I bade them al goodbye
one by one, watched them slide
too far from me.

Whenever it hurt, I'd fall and cry
pick some leaves and watch them dry
and in my casket now I sing,
"I'll die today, on board a ship
'Where'd she go?' won't you think?
'She left her golden book for us
and all her ugly clothes.'
'Burn them now, else they shall haunt
our discussions, highs and lows.'"

I stopped breathing.

---curtains---
This is by far, the Craziest and the Freakiest thing I've ever written! haha
The stage had me going Crazy !

PART I - This will have a part II :)

In a masquerade of 286
she wears satin - flawless white.
Glass slippers, a silver mask
That glow in simple candle light.

Saucy, eloquent lady-talk
She flips her fan in style
They walk and talk and so does she
Enchant, reject, mesmerize!

But angels looked for the naked soul,
Perched they were on the chandeliers
“Where could it be?” they whispered low
“How could it have disappeared?”

They peeked through keyholes
And pulled at masks
The music got louder
Complex and bland.

The soul was gone.
And the angels were sad.

Edwardo-days.

A voiceless chamber
With snow.
No want to scream.
No people. No crows.
I have my eyes closed.

These ancient bricks are plastered white
With cheap, dusty paint.
The ceilings are high - The passages, wide
The glory has me dazed.

But the water is frozen now
There are no butterflies.
The gale is very cold
And no dainty gold
Hangs on my piece of sky.

I am alone.
Haunt me.

Disclaimer = I'm not exactly 'aloone'. It's just that I am beginning to hate two-faced nerds. The rest is fine.

The Evilness Quiz.. :p Lovely!

You Are 70% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

Almost there.

Yes, it's about love again
and I feel closer than ever to you.
With all spirits and angels afloat,
in silver rivers of heaven and sky
hurt, woe - cast aside
sensation warm - in a lonesome night
plead and worship in delight
with a clandestine whim,
to dance with him, in starlight
is enough for me to keep my plight.
No touch. No sight.
I swear on you and i wait.
It's not too late.

Disclaimer: Let me get a few things straight. Don't know what ppl think about when they read through verse, but I am Happy! Got me a little time, to get my act together, but I was just waiting for an inspiration to write about what I feel like right now. About the Evil Sorceress, lol, I still am one :D but thank God my Rulers decided to let me breathe a little longer. We're fine.
and we're going to be fine.
this was a Happy-piece! and there's going to be more of those :)

Statement

Very soon, I'll get wings and a halo.

stupid verse.

I am an evil sorceress
from the land of black and white,
where lonely people live in shades,
from dreams of broken light.
I live in boxes, sealed and stacked
glass walls with holes for air
At night I write in a golden book
and think of the love - the hurt - the snare
Last night I dreamt of you again,
you are a broken part of me
I close my eyes and make believe
we're in a different century...
and everything's the way it used to be...
a simple fraction of an eternity...

sigh.
I'm very sad, world. Very sad.
Where are you!?

We have to wake up soon.

Portrays a lot, doesn't it?
Oh the sap! and the mush! I don't have anything in particular on my mind. I'm just sitting here. And I'm nearly halfway through my summer vacation. And I'm going to start studying pretty soon.
So, yes, I have to wake up soon myself. Only way I'll make it I guess.

speechless.

asswipe.

ps. good morning.

statement.

i remember you so well, it's frightening. and every day i pray things could be different. less cluttered.
you see, it's not me.
you just make me do real things.
even now.

from the golden book.

*i wish i could run away to a dream where you'd smile at me, like nothing ever happened.*

will magic ever fall from the skies, little pink and blue shiny specks?
just like in a movie. a dumb movie that connot possibly be interpreted into real life.
real life is like 45degrees, 5minute deadlines.
or maybe a hundred thousand million words, staring ahead - numb - for several minutes in a row or talking to yourself in a quiet corridor.
i saw a sick man today, lying on a stretcher, moaning, half awake. they were carrying him to Mayo. i saw his wife. one look. all her fear and woe, she was as scared as a child.
that is life.
watching people - an entire world - on the streets. every soul has a million stories.
naked children, begging in the heat. yelling, laughing, swearing. it's all there.

so, you see. it's not about lovesongs or poetry or dressing up. we all look like we feel.
we always want something we can't get. and we just always need to be someone we can't be. it's part of being human.

i'm not anyone.
i'm just a piece of all the mess here, adding to the disarray.
the day i start cleaning up some of the confusion,
i'll actually be someone.

Declaration.

i wish i owned a black, cloak.
with one little slit to look through.
i don't need colour.
and i don't need to have a face.

the 'veil' is not to be ridiculed. it is an element, much required.

dilapidated.

it was about 11am. i was desperately waiting for the roll call. it was a very stubborn day. (i think days can't be stubborn, but today was because it simple refused to end!) it was very hot. and for the first time in my life, the smell of rotting flesh and formalin combined was getting me nauseous. i was drowsy and i didn't even want to move. i was sitting, with my head resting on my hands set on the table, in the DH sideroom that looks too forlorn from the outside to be inspected by anyone from the staff. (DH means dissection hall. my love.)
i wasn't alone there. a few girls were hanging around discussing the latest from batch 06-11! a few were quietly dissolving Snell and Chaurasiya, or giving off a peculiar buzz that resembles an exorcism being performed. the rest were outside, doing the world good, chopping flesh, tearing fascia and playing with their wonderful scalpel and forceps. i could hear them. i could hear men from outside from the windowside, constructing the new Surgical Tower we are anticipating so badly. i could hear the buzz and the talk. merrily so, the clock ticked.
DH lasts from 10.30 to 12.30 and today, it felt like the longest two hours ever.
i couldn't study. i couldn't think.
all i did was stay in that room and wait, listening quietly.
i couldn't understand why i shed a few tears. it isn't normal, i never cry in public. no body found out though.
i felt very alone and very insignificant.
maybe we shouldn't be nice to anyone. falling in love is evil from a vile soul. and making sacrifices is probably a sin. Lord, i lose faith in You sometimes. when i keep wanting and wishing and praying and You don't listen. but i'm not complaining, really.
because, You see, it's me. it's just me.
you gave me one rope. i shouldn't ask for another one.
and after the attendance, when i met up with my friends who were laughing non-stop in Biochem that followed, i felt needed. almost as if i was significant. and i thank You for that.

but sometimes.
only sometimes.
ok, i'm lying now. MOST of the times!
i wish bad things didn't happen to anyone in this world.
and i want to be somebody else.
and i want to buy a time-machine and more green nailcolour.
i ran out of it.

ps. i know it was a terrible end to a piece that had such a sober start.
but i'm high now. pity, i can't even write right! =D

Where Are You?

every morning it gets harder. the faces, the talk. i can't stand it.
i cried a lot when i got home today. i told my parents about the boys who bug me everyday and the people who stare. and the girls who point at the way i talk or dress.
everyone's mad. i don't like anybody. the girl i made friends with, loves to be watched and looked at. i don't. i don't want any attention. don't look at me, thankyou. please.
theres a complicated sort of tension in class. everybody's annoying. my record's fine. i haven't been offensive towards a teacher yet. the faculty's cracked by the way. they make weird comments and say funny things. nobody's interested in anything. we're like crazy people who walk around all day, holding books and bags and bones. they don't leave you alone!
everyday you have to go through the same bloody crowd and get bruised, stepped on by guys with big feet and get angry at freaky fat women swarming the place.no, no, not literally. but it gives me the same feeling! i was disgusted all day! KE is small. everywhere is small.

it's constricting and strangulating. it's full of people who have nothing to do yet they're so fucking busy. people who can only talk. who can only dream about having a life. who can lie just as well as they can memorize the hundreds of pages of Guyton or Harper, reference lines and index included. who don't even have to think before they say anything. to anyone.

and i'm one of them...
so lala to the whole world. piss off. im screwed.

=*(

jaded.
that's all there is to it.

i don't feel a thing.
but the madness stays i suppose. i'll be back with all the sap in all the verse :S
milestone - i am a day older than i was yesterday.
ps. i have a life threatening issue at hand.
feel for me.
-ilium
-ischium
-pubis
Please help me Lord.

Maybe,

It is the deprivation of the good that works to eradicate the evil.

I am evil.
Stand out. Overcome the illusion of need.
Where words may falter, silence heals.
And I, am silent.
Forgive me.

The world has too many people to make you belong.
We're lonely every second,
though it's crowded.

thoughts afloat in the silver stream

the magic was pure that night
when we watched the moon, shimmering gold
hanging high, the heavens smiled
and i knew i was happy that night.

but it's 1am and i can't sleep

water falling from a lonely creek
peeling down from dusty leaves
in a lonely valley of pale green,
i've been watching you for so long
singing all those bizarre songs
pulling at the grass, weedy, rough
looking back at you, with all my love.

to you.

A milky sky
With fibres of gold
That emerge. Diverge.
Feel the urge
For sin to be purged
Out of your soul
Light creeping in
Through a dark,
Dark hole.
Feel me pour
My heart out
to you

stars

i emptied my treasure chest
threw away my stardust
it sparkled through dreams, flew away
it's far now, only just
can you feel me next to you
when nobody's around?
i'm so good at weeping
and making no sound
can you hear me,
shut your eyes, listen hard
when i weep in the dark
or wake up with a start?
that thing inside, your heart
does it make you think
we're far apart?

i'm sick of pain
and dreaming's lame
it just isn't sane,
it's not the same,
but i have myself to blame!
love's a stain
and it's not my place to claim

you
anymore

You.

A blur of voices
Flipping images on a dark screen
A silent feel
Of you

I don’t need it
Can you feel it?
All the pain that trickled out
Silence so loud
My dark cloud
That couldn’t make the rain fall
I was made to crawl
Before a stupid wall
With no door
No paint

Stab me with paperclips

*we think differently every second.
*i want my wall back.

Verse.

it's raining
sense the symphony of the the quiet
twilight through my skylight
an old song on the radio
fade me slow in crimson shade
a wispy, silver, silent haze
a fragile, lacy, golden glaze
all my life. all my days.
fade me slow
and watch me fall
for you.

ps. this one came outa nowhere. wrote it a week back i think.

Faith.

watch the world and smile.
time decides.
everything.
i only wish i could anticipate life as silently as this all the time.
i saw pain today. and i promised myself.
i shall come up to all that they want for me.
and i know You'll carry me through.
:)

Letter.

dear God
i have sinned.
i talk to myself, swear at the world, chew on gum in class, play with my pointy glass, dream hysterically at night and ruefully through the day, i do not pray to You and i talk back at people who continue to do so much for me.
i have a few questions. when i start looking for signs, i get helplessly lost. i never know what i'm about to say next or what i'm about to do next. i don't know anything about myself though i've been working on that for over eighteen years now. silver linings do not exist. infact, here in our world, we don't even have dark clouds anymore. it's so bright, we can't even watch where we're going. and i keep running into things and falling down, hard. it's so bright, i can't even look for the things i've lost.

please make me come to You sooner.
i am very unhappy.

amen.

rudimentary emotion.

Arbitrary notes
Arched grace of a body, white
that dances slow
with clandestine delight
Love is frail
An idle play
of shallow souls
Knights, courtesans, trolls
lonely legends, folklore
Let it go
and leech your gore
till you dance in a trance
all alone.