i have sinned.
i talk to myself, swear at the world, chew on gum in class, play with my pointy glass, dream hysterically at night and ruefully through the day, i do not pray to You and i talk back at people who continue to do so much for me.
i have a few questions. when i start looking for signs, i get helplessly lost. i never know what i'm about to say next or what i'm about to do next. i don't know anything about myself though i've been working on that for over eighteen years now. silver linings do not exist. infact, here in our world, we don't even have dark clouds anymore. it's so bright, we can't even watch where we're going. and i keep running into things and falling down, hard. it's so bright, i can't even look for the things i've lost.
please make me come to You sooner.
i am very unhappy.
amen.
