more from X&Y

X - One day, I will tell you what to do. And you will listen.

Y - Pass the jam.

X&Y - can't sleep

X.
i'll switch to unbroken and find another you.
you'll be sorry.

Y.
what's the use?
you come to me emptyhanded every time.

Confused.

i have a hole inside of me
how could it have happened so
dreamers die tragic deaths but
never in life do they sorrow
perhaps a joke, i feign to be
sadness to reap from madness to sow
i know it's stupid, i know
to wish for all that anyhow

i feel the fervor not, tonight
a bit of anger. a bit of spite.
no trace of blissful delight
what do i want to fight?

X&Y - I

This does not say anything about me. I felt inspired by a song. And I thought I should make a note of it. So here it goes to the X&Y series!

==================================

X.
I feel horrible.
Small. Ugly.
And worthless.
It feels like smothering a child, the way I’m trying to forget you. A fragile body that needs to be broken, suffocated and killed. The destruction of a being.
We were never meant to be. Maybe, it was one of my greatest mistakes to believe the contrary.
But baby I’m sitting right next to you. Can you see? I could smile if you wanted.

Y.
I don't see anything.

==================================

Why don't you call me tonight?

I'm lonely and footsore
though I've been quiet before
Same old dirty pinafore
Queen, Queen, do your chores
I paint you pretty everyday
But sadness is forever to stay
to be my bride, to be my love
shiny cage with paperwhite dove

I'll keep saying it, darling
You won't hear it ever
But when, pray tell
will I recover?

P.S. I do think that it is impossible for me to write happy lines. It's just not me:) I watched a movie last week and this is what came out of it.
Life's great! Summer vacation. Airconditioning. Loved. I don't study. It rained today and the weather's gorgeous!

Damsels and Superheroes

Faithful - Faithless
Hair stuck on soap
Stains on satin dress
Cardboard boxes everywhere
Can't you spare
Space to breathe?
Space to love?

Asymmetry - Disarray
Dysfunction, random play
All my metal
All my clay
Sweep, sweep - under the bed
Quiet now, don't forget
Dogs can't talk
and pigs don't fly
Angels come cheap
if you don't question why

Silent - Needy
"Pretty paperdoll
won't you sing for me?"
For i know all,
all that you will ever know.
No one taught me how to beg
How to shed
what is warm and red.

Plastic bubbles - Shiny
Butterflies inside
Tales of beauty,
far and wide
"I've touched one, it's true
and i don't lie.
Candylove and lullabies
That is how my days go by."

So baby don't cry
don't cry
for me

i am alive.
as of course the custom goes, i come here to yelp and whine to the world of non-existent readers whenever i'm tired and weary or sick of the world.

lets pretend we had wooden swords. have you seen the Queen's army?

come away with me. i'll take you to the sea.
we'll run barefoot. make night happen. and watch our perfect sunrise together.
no eyes closed.
smile.
candy down my throat?
thankyou.

take life, peel off the sheen
rearrange a few specks
tease a few facts
break a few threads
and light all the lamps

A plaque of decaying pulchritude
brought to life with rouge
no pattern - no charm - no lust
no love

- i've been ina constant state of examination since september. excruciating as of course it is. biochem day was today. tired. thought i oughta open the skylight

Tribute to the Freaky Barber lala.

If I stowed myself away on a ship,
that was set to sail forever,
I'd lock, so tight, the casket's lid,
wait for my breath to falter
feel the rocking ship on water
sing my songs, not bother
about anything.

There was a day when we held hands,
or when they smiled; the scene so grand
I used to laugh so much it's true
with all my friends and all those fools
or when I bade them al goodbye
one by one, watched them slide
too far from me.

Whenever it hurt, I'd fall and cry
pick some leaves and watch them dry
and in my casket now I sing,
"I'll die today, on board a ship
'Where'd she go?' won't you think?
'She left her golden book for us
and all her ugly clothes.'
'Burn them now, else they shall haunt
our discussions, highs and lows.'"

I stopped breathing.

---curtains---
This is by far, the Craziest and the Freakiest thing I've ever written! haha
The stage had me going Crazy !

PART I - This will have a part II :)

In a masquerade of 286
she wears satin - flawless white.
Glass slippers, a silver mask
That glow in simple candle light.

Saucy, eloquent lady-talk
She flips her fan in style
They walk and talk and so does she
Enchant, reject, mesmerize!

But angels looked for the naked soul,
Perched they were on the chandeliers
“Where could it be?” they whispered low
“How could it have disappeared?”

They peeked through keyholes
And pulled at masks
The music got louder
Complex and bland.

The soul was gone.
And the angels were sad.

Edwardo-days.

A voiceless chamber
With snow.
No want to scream.
No people. No crows.
I have my eyes closed.

These ancient bricks are plastered white
With cheap, dusty paint.
The ceilings are high - The passages, wide
The glory has me dazed.

But the water is frozen now
There are no butterflies.
The gale is very cold
And no dainty gold
Hangs on my piece of sky.

I am alone.
Haunt me.

Disclaimer = I'm not exactly 'aloone'. It's just that I am beginning to hate two-faced nerds. The rest is fine.

The Evilness Quiz.. :p Lovely!

You Are 70% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

Almost there.

Yes, it's about love again
and I feel closer than ever to you.
With all spirits and angels afloat,
in silver rivers of heaven and sky
hurt, woe - cast aside
sensation warm - in a lonesome night
plead and worship in delight
with a clandestine whim,
to dance with him, in starlight
is enough for me to keep my plight.
No touch. No sight.
I swear on you and i wait.
It's not too late.

Disclaimer: Let me get a few things straight. Don't know what ppl think about when they read through verse, but I am Happy! Got me a little time, to get my act together, but I was just waiting for an inspiration to write about what I feel like right now. About the Evil Sorceress, lol, I still am one :D but thank God my Rulers decided to let me breathe a little longer. We're fine.
and we're going to be fine.
this was a Happy-piece! and there's going to be more of those :)

Statement

Very soon, I'll get wings and a halo.

stupid verse.

I am an evil sorceress
from the land of black and white,
where lonely people live in shades,
from dreams of broken light.
I live in boxes, sealed and stacked
glass walls with holes for air
At night I write in a golden book
and think of the love - the hurt - the snare
Last night I dreamt of you again,
you are a broken part of me
I close my eyes and make believe
we're in a different century...
and everything's the way it used to be...
a simple fraction of an eternity...

sigh.
I'm very sad, world. Very sad.
Where are you!?

We have to wake up soon.

Portrays a lot, doesn't it?
Oh the sap! and the mush! I don't have anything in particular on my mind. I'm just sitting here. And I'm nearly halfway through my summer vacation. And I'm going to start studying pretty soon.
So, yes, I have to wake up soon myself. Only way I'll make it I guess.

speechless.

asswipe.

ps. good morning.

statement.

i remember you so well, it's frightening. and every day i pray things could be different. less cluttered.
you see, it's not me.
you just make me do real things.
even now.

from the golden book.

*i wish i could run away to a dream where you'd smile at me, like nothing ever happened.*

will magic ever fall from the skies, little pink and blue shiny specks?
just like in a movie. a dumb movie that connot possibly be interpreted into real life.
real life is like 45degrees, 5minute deadlines.
or maybe a hundred thousand million words, staring ahead - numb - for several minutes in a row or talking to yourself in a quiet corridor.
i saw a sick man today, lying on a stretcher, moaning, half awake. they were carrying him to Mayo. i saw his wife. one look. all her fear and woe, she was as scared as a child.
that is life.
watching people - an entire world - on the streets. every soul has a million stories.
naked children, begging in the heat. yelling, laughing, swearing. it's all there.

so, you see. it's not about lovesongs or poetry or dressing up. we all look like we feel.
we always want something we can't get. and we just always need to be someone we can't be. it's part of being human.

i'm not anyone.
i'm just a piece of all the mess here, adding to the disarray.
the day i start cleaning up some of the confusion,
i'll actually be someone.