Where Are You?

every morning it gets harder. the faces, the talk. i can't stand it.
i cried a lot when i got home today. i told my parents about the boys who bug me everyday and the people who stare. and the girls who point at the way i talk or dress.
everyone's mad. i don't like anybody. the girl i made friends with, loves to be watched and looked at. i don't. i don't want any attention. don't look at me, thankyou. please.
theres a complicated sort of tension in class. everybody's annoying. my record's fine. i haven't been offensive towards a teacher yet. the faculty's cracked by the way. they make weird comments and say funny things. nobody's interested in anything. we're like crazy people who walk around all day, holding books and bags and bones. they don't leave you alone!
everyday you have to go through the same bloody crowd and get bruised, stepped on by guys with big feet and get angry at freaky fat women swarming the place.no, no, not literally. but it gives me the same feeling! i was disgusted all day! KE is small. everywhere is small.

it's constricting and strangulating. it's full of people who have nothing to do yet they're so fucking busy. people who can only talk. who can only dream about having a life. who can lie just as well as they can memorize the hundreds of pages of Guyton or Harper, reference lines and index included. who don't even have to think before they say anything. to anyone.

and i'm one of them...
so lala to the whole world. piss off. im screwed.

i don't feel a thing.
but the madness stays i suppose. i'll be back with all the sap in all the verse :S
milestone - i am a day older than i was yesterday.
ps. i have a life threatening issue at hand.
feel for me.
-ilium
-ischium
-pubis
Please help me Lord.

Maybe,

It is the deprivation of the good that works to eradicate the evil.

I am evil.
Stand out. Overcome the illusion of need.
Where words may falter, silence heals.
And I, am silent.
Forgive me.

The world has too many people to make you belong.
We're lonely every second,
though it's crowded.