God sees all.

I could rip my heart in two sometimes
When I don't

Better be diamonds for the salt mines...

***

Y: Where will you go?
X: To the moon.
Y: You're not coming back, are you?
X: I'll try.

#2

Floating on a tidal wave :)

Sigh

Breaking to pieces tonight
The heart cries out for some form of respite
Magic kaleidoscope broken
to cracked, quiet, white

True story.

It isn't always about trying.
Sunflowers taste bitter to dogs.

Close to midnight on the night of the moon.

How is it that I drip
From red and silver in the skies
To jet black, crash landed
And handicapped

Since happiness doesn't ever come for free
Starve yourself well to climb that skinny bitch of a tree
Endure. Resist. Choose not to flee

Angels glow in the dark, always.

The apocalypse has struck

Hurt should only make you stronger
But hurt hurts.
When I anchored my heart to your skull
I'd run to you to save me the drag
And as you ran, I ran faster
You kept making it seem harder
Till I had an organ less
And a soul, hollow

I won't mind if you ate my flesh;
The bit you tore away
My love for you, my philanthropy
Has often caused more dismay
So bake it tender
After a marinade dip
I could take a bite and taste my love;
Dead. It won't make me sick

I'll turn around and walk
To the closest well or dock
(No more chain
From heart to brain
My direction, my game)
And jump
To asphyxiate me to peace.

Drunken shitty fairytale

To flick a fly off your food
Would have taken more effort
A lift of a finger, a thumb's pressure
Flex to extend and shoot. Very clever

Me, I was no fly
You'd have had to say goodbye
So you waited for winds to change
Take them hours, take them days
Left your favorite music on play
Sang a few songs and slept away
The clouds came and hurled snow
Summer died, fireflies lost their glow
Night switched to a cold in-between
Neither day it was nor was it eve
It snowed and snowed till it buried me
Your record froze and you woke to see
No victim, no grave, no heat

All was forgotten and a new sun broke
Blossoms rose to bloom and saplings woke
My flesh formed the green in the
Grass that was as everything else, soaked
In joy
That was yours
As I was no more

Quote

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.
Coco Chanel

I must be high.

I'm a doctor so I know
How to cannulate a peripheral vein
Or what happens to a feeble heart
Under the slightest of unnecessary strain

If you replace your blood, warm
With a metal, cold like mercury
Then face storm, pain or jeopardy
With indubitable certainty of
Your invincibility, 'tis unlikely.

You couldn't fit steel where
Ten ounces of flesh beats
To stay clear of all, that
Troubles the heart.

You could soak a rock
Paint it so red it burns
But it wouldn't breathe
To settle a lonely soul
That yearns
For love

Something beautiful I just read...

If the moon smiled, she would resemble you.
You leave the same impression
Of something beautiful, but annihilating.
Both of you are great light borrowers.
Her O-mouth grieves at the world; yours is unaffected,
And your first gift is making stone out of everything.
Sylvia Plath

#1

If I had one wish
I'd ask for this:
To be where you are
Right now

Amputate

I don't need your kindness
You scratch a chalkboard to bother

You don't need pieces of me
What I tear off is not to be clobbered

You make your own dreams.

Pitter patter hear I
Miserable drizzle from
Boring white sky
No thunder for lullaby

Trudge up to the hilltop I
Jackless is this heedless Jill
Two pails I fill, not one
Haul them down to the windowsill
Slosh one straight at my flowerbed
Roses burn as roses red
The second I lift overhead and tilt
For split second rain to clean the wilt
Of a sad, white day
With that peculiar sense of decay
I dislike so much

Whine whine whine

There are days like fireworks in space and then there are days when you're climbing up a fucking chimney - sooty and asphyxiated. The days in between are forgotten as they melt into an insignificant background grey. There should be more to life than counting days and weighing soot.

Drinking from the sea.

Bitter cold brine
I can feel my spine
Grow weak
Thirst, unquenched
I stagger
And fall
Manage to crawl
From my sprawl on the sand
A little farther
Into the sea.

You run towards all that you ran from, once upon a time.

When running from a thing you loathe - too hard, too long - the balance shifts for you to follow your hate as you continue to run in your circle - eyes closed, fists clenched - so much so that it becomes your need.
The elements conspire against you.
The curse of your hate stays as a painful glimpse of it in the one you hold dearest and closest to your heart whenever you choose to open your eyes, only to shut them tight again.

When you feel like a typo.

Absorb without exploding
As much as you possibly can
Glow in your masochistic heat
Or wish you were a man
Pluck out your ruddy heart and
Toss it in a frying pan

And feed it to a dog.